If I Don’t Write About It, Then It Won’t Come True

I’m not going to write about how you stood me up today or how you barely respond to me anymore. If I write about how it feels to have you slip through my fingers, then you will already be gone. This isn’t me detailing how you’ve wronged me, and this certainly isn’t a goodbye. If I don’t write about losing you, then maybe I won’t.

Instead I want to write about how it felt when we were the brightest thing in every room that we went in. I want to write about how your skin burned mine while still making me shiver. I need to capture every detail of the moment you made me fall in love with brown eyes, your brown eyes, in permanent ink. Maybe if I hold on tighter, you’ll be able to feel me in spite of the distance. Only, holding on this tightly is starting to hurt. I know that I should let go, but we were the brightest thing in every room that we went in, and I just want some of that light back.

 

-AcuteAnimosity

When it Happens to You

When it happens to you

You start walking in slow motion

You realize that every passerby

Has a life

Has a story

Has adversity and happiness and dreams

And everything that

Somehow you’ve forgotten

You have too

When it happens to you

You become singled out

In the crowd

The invisible one

Whose presence is

Noticed but not felt

When it happens to you

You remember that

It happens to everyone

Your shoulders bend under the

Weight of feeling sorry for yourself

When you have no right to be

Every tear before now

Was a wolf cry

Every day you couldn’t

Force yourself out of bed

Was a lie

Only now you can’t

Let others know

How you struggle to find

The stamina to be human

Each and every moment

When it happens to you

It locks you behind bars

It cuffs you to a wall

You take a step forward

With everyone else

Only to not truly be moving

It makes you wish

You knew how to pray

And believe someone was listening

When it happens to you

You will drown

Over and over

Until you learn to swim

You will shy away from hot coals

Until you learn to not feel them

Any longer

When it happens to you

You will learn to swim

You will learn to not feel

And then you will teach yourself

To climb out of the pool

To let the emotions in

Without crushing yourself

When it happens to you

You will survive

Until you can live again

 

-AcuteAnimosity

You

You make me

Close my eyes

Tilt back my head

And let the laughter

Spill out of my mouth

You make my

Arms ache and

Tense with the need

To reach for you

To become one half

Of a whole

You make me

Listen to old songs

And feel the words

Like I’m hearing them

For the first time

You make me

Choreograph intricate

Ballroom dances

In the kitchen

My socks gliding

Against the hardwood

You make my

Fingertips tremor

Just centimeters from

Your lips

Pink and soft and

Kissing me and

You make me

Love the lazy

Ceiling fan ticking away

Above my head

Love the sun

When it pierces my eyes

As I try to look up

Into yours

Love the breaths

In between words

Love the silence

Love the sneaking

In hallways

In living rooms

In secret

Sneaking gentle

Touches, you against me

Us together

Painting each others’

Skin with red

You make me

Love the life

I resented

You make me

Grateful that each

Hardship lead to you

You make me

Happy with the simplicity

Of smiles, of closing my eyes

Tilting my head back

And letting the laughter

Spill out of my mouth

Most of all

You make me yours

 

-AcuteAnimosity