Wow

Seven people liked my last post. That may seem so small to other people, but it’s huge to me. I’m going to post another short story because the last got a pretty good reception for a blog as small as mine. I do have to warn you though, this story can be a little triggering to anyone who has experienced abuse or have someone close to them who has experienced it. I would absolutely love to hear from you guys, so leave a comment telling me what you think about my story. Here goes nothing and everything.

Sitting in my Chair

            I am the best at not flinching in my entire school. Kids on the playground clap in my face, but I don’t move. Older kids jump at me in the hallway, but nothing can make me step back, eyes closed, scared. It’s my favorite talent.

Another slaps goes across my face. I sit as still as silence. My talent is more useful than just being a cool trick.

“What did I tell you? You just have to disobey me, don’t you?” His big hand finds my face in the dark again. My face is red and wet like the spaghetti sauce on my white cotton shirt. I only made it pink and blotchy by scrubbing at it in the sink at Olive Garden. I thought I could fix it. I always think it’s that easy, but it never is.

“All I wanted was a nice, family dinner, and you embarrassed me like this? You think that’s okay? You can’t even eat without acting like a pig.” My hands grip the bottom of my chair. I’ve worn little bumps into my chair from holding it so hard.

Little bumps pop up on daddy’s face too. I connect them with the dots in my eyes and make pictures. A red horse, a red house, a red mouse. Mama keeps reminding me about daddy’s name. The one that we all carry. We have to keep his name clean. Mama always protects daddy; she really loves him.

I start humming the song we learned in school. I love school more than tv and ice cream. Mrs. Wilson looks like the teacher from Matilda. She’s pretty and sings lightly in class-

“Shut up!” Daddy doesn’t like when I make too much noise, but I keep humming. It’s a soft song, and I memorized it so easy because it rhymes. Mrs. Wilson taught us all about rhymes. Wrong and song, Stop and plop, and No and go.

“I’ll shut you up,” he says and mama looks at me. It’s the first time all night. She used to leave the room when I had to sit in my chair, but now she stands in the corner and traces the floor with her foot. She sees me for a second, just a second, before she turns and leaves the room, always protecting daddy.

He holds my shoulders. I shake back and forth and back and forth and back. My head bobs for apples in the air, and I come up with nothing. Nothing and no one is here. There’s no daddy or mama, and there’s no me.

I don’t open my eyes, but I feel my chest go up and down. I don’t even have to move. Mommy whispers for me to just rest. I see nothing again. The long beep doesn’t touch me because I am already gone. It’s almost like I was never here.

-AcuteAnimosity

Common Misconceptions About Introvets

I am an introvert, more specifically an INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging). It’s actually the rarest type, don’t I feel special. Anyway, today’s rant is about the misconceptions people have about introverts. The most common response I get when people find out that I’m an introvert is “what’s that?” To explain what an introvert is I have to explain its counterpart, the extrovert. People who are extroverts tend to be loud, generally cheerful, always in a group. Extroverts love to be with people. In fact, they feel anxious and unsettled when they are alone. This doesn’t mean that they can’t ever be alone, it just means that they mostly try to avoid solitude, but everyone needs alone time now and then. Now, introverts are different because instead of feeling yucky when they’re alone, they feel drained when they are around people too much. Introverts need recharge time. They need more solitude than extroverts. This doesn’t mean that introverts are loners who hate people. It just means that they need more down time. The second most popular comment I get is “But you aren’t shy.” Introverts aren’t all shy! It is more typical that a shyer person is an introvert, however an extrovert can be shy and an introvert can be outgoing! That being said, another misconception is that you have to be extroverted to be successful. No! Introverts can still be successful and have a lot of friends. You do not have to be extroverted in order to be well-liked or successful. One thing that makes people think that introverts are not successful in business or politics is that introverts have no taste for small talk. Unless you are talking to an introverted meteorologist, don’t comment on the weather. Introverts won’t be very chatty, unless you talk to them about something that really matters to them. Talk to an introvert about their passion, and you won’t be able to shut them up. Lastly, not all introverts are small, quiet kids who sit in the dark corner of the art room drawing and writing poetry. Believe it or not, some introverts don’t like art or English. Some like sports and want to be engineers! Basically the moral of this rant is, don’t judge someone based on whether they are an extrovert, introvert, or even ambivert (combination of the two). Everyone is different. Okay lovelies, it’s time for me to go to sleep. If you really would want to know more about this whole personality typing please comment saying that you want to talk more about it. I’ve researched these things pretty thoroughly because I think it is so cool. Alright, night!

-acuteanimosity

Hello!

Okay, so I will confess something. This isn’t my first blog. I wrote on my first WordPress blog for five years. It was supposed to be anonymous, and I told people about it for whatever reason. Now I feel a tad uncomfortable writing my feelings there. So, because I’ve had a blog I know that when I talk to “you” I’m really talking to myself. An anonymous blog doesn’t usually gain many followers. Anyway, moving on. I’m a girl who feels acutely animistic about this whole life thing. So here’s where I will express my hostility toward the world and all its inhabitants. Today, let me talk about stupid girl stuff today. I don’t always complain about idiotic girl issues, but when I do they are cliche.

So I have this boyfriend. He’s pretty much perfect. The only problem is that I’m the worst girlfriend ever. My boyfriend, let’s call him Lewis, hates to dance. However, I love to dance. So I went to a Salsa Social that my friend invited me to. Lewis was okay with this because he trusts me. At this Salsa Social I danced with a ton of guys. Nothing romantic or anything, just some nice, fun dancing. So for one of the last dances I danced with this friend that brought me to the dance thing, let’s call him Philip. Well Philip is a really good ballroom dancer and I’ve been dancing for eleven years, so him and I were dancing really great together. However, it was a really romantic song. Pause here, you probably think I as unfaithful right? Wrong. We danced, and some how we got talking about our troubled pasts. He held me really close, and he told me that he despises how badly my past has affected me; he told me that I was a great person that didn’t deserve the things that have happened to me. We danced closely, and we danced amazingly. There were spins and shines and a ton of fancy things that made us look pretty cool. At the very end we were in a dance position called “close embrace” so my head was on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of my head. He doesn’t think that I noticed, but I did, and that small gesture meant something to me. I don’t know what it meant to me, however it meant something. Of course at the end of the dance we both awkwardly blushed and found new dance partners for the last dance (I danced with this really cute guy that didn’t really know what he was doing and it was adorable). Okay I know what you’re thinking, I’m a terrible person. I’m not though, I swear. When I call a guy cute, he’s an attractive person in my opinion, that doesn’t mean that I want to jump into his bed and leave my boyfriend. I just think he’s nice looking. A dance is just a dance, but that dance felt special. I don’t know how to describe it, therefore I’m sorry. There wasn’t much a point to this little anecdote. It was just a little intro to my life. Welcome.

-acuteanimosity