Living is drowning.
Attacked by feeling,
overwhelmingly so.
Kicking, thrashing, fighting
for your right to breath.
Drowning is not death.
It’s the moment just before.
Death is loss.
The loss of pain,
but also drive and joy.
It’s the feeling gone.
All feeling gone.
Living is drowning,
and giving up is death
-AcuteAnimosity
My bed sheets are purple. My lamp is teal. My backpack is black. My pen is blue. My hair is blonde. My shoes are gray. My ring is silver. My eyes are green. My pajamas are pink. My hair tie is brown. I am a colorful person. There are, however, two colors that are noticeably missing in my life. I have almost no red or yellow in my life. What is weird about this is that yellow is my least favorite color, but red is my favorite color. I thought of this today when I made a vow in my education class to never grade using red pen. I noticed that not only do I avoid yellow things, I avoid red things too. It got me thinking about why red is even my favorite color. I don’t wear red clothes, I don’t use red pen, I barely have anything red at all. I thought about it though, and I know why I love red so much.
I am not a red person. Usually people assume people who love red are always angry and assertive or passionate and confident. Red demands attention. Red captures your eye. Red is sexy. Red is unforgiving. Red is a leader. Red is pain. Red is intensity. I am not like red.I am calm like blue. I am quiet like gray. I am sweet like silver. I am soft like purple. I am fun like pink. I am wise like green. I’m even cheerful like yellow, but I am not fierce like red. Red is, sometimes, who I wish I could be. I wish I could command a room like red. I will never be alluring or dangerous like red. I am just not a red girl, but I can appreciate the beauty behind people with red personalities. I can also see the drawbacks. I know first hand the temper, betrayal, and defiance that comes with red. Maybe this whole post makes very little sense to you. However, to me, colors have personalities. Colors are next to alive. They are complex and shifting, and they can communicate better than words sometimes. Colors are also confusing. My favorite color is red, but I am not red.
So this post was weird. Nevertheless, I am pretty sure that my next post will be a giant update. I think it’s important that you guys see who I am in order to better understand my writing. Also, I’m just stalling having to write my next story 😉 Sorry guys!
-AcuteAnimosity
I wanted to write something today, especially since I’ve been writing so much the past few days. It felt really good to be back into the habit of writing at least 7 minutes everyday. However, my head is killing me. That’s nothing new, for some reason I’m just noticing it more today. I get a headache every single day. It happens at varying times and pains but everyday, I have at least one headache, sometimes more than one.
I have talked to my doctor about this, but of course he first asked if I was one my period (no joke, I was ready to kick him in the shins, also no, I was not on my period), and then he told me to just take pain meds every time I feel a headache come on. The amount of pain pills I would be taking if I did that would be a bit scary. If I can, I take 2 ibuprofens for headaches or 2 excedrins for migraines. It rarely helps though. If I’m getting maybe 2 headaches a day, that’s 4 ibuprofens, everyday. I don’t think that’s healthy.
My mom thought maybe it’s due to my allergy meds, I’ve been on them for years though so I doubt it. Then she asked if I wanted to talk to a social worker. Basically, no one will believe that maybe there’s just something wrong. Anyway, sorry that I am not writing anything creative today (even though I’ve gone months without posting before). Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up posting again today with something creative. I might just dig out an old poem and throw that up here. Until next time.
-AcuteAnimosity
AcuteAnimosity 