Haiku, Why Not?

It seems that the sun

Sees our love before we do

It shines on our bliss

 

Not sure why I wrote a haiku. I think some of the best poetry comes from when a writer limits things. Rules help writers push and push for the best of the best. When there is a block in the path of a writer, they will create something incredible to get around it. Some poets refuse to use certain words like love, heart, and soul. Some writers count syllables (like those who write haikus). Some writers make sure they have to rhyme. This doesn’t mean that something great can’t come out of a poem that has no rules. Actually, if you look at most my poetry, it looks like I give myself no rules. That would be wrong because I have a long list of unwritten rules, but none of my rules are obvious. Slam poetry and free verse seem to have no rules at all. Maybe they don’t. I think that the rules of slam poetry are unwritten though. They mostly deal with one’s performance and delivery of a poem though. Free verse is the most free (pun intended) I think. That might be why it gets such a bad reputation.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I was going to talk about the haiku I wrote, but like, ugh. I like this guy. Things ended so badly with Lewis that I don’t even want to talk about this guy because he likes me too, and it feels so fragile. It seems too perfect, and that usually leads to disaster. Therefore, I want to hold on to this innocent, ignorant feeling a little longer. I’m not even going to give him a name on here because I’m not going to talk about him. Enjoy my crappy haiku 🙂

-AcuteAnimosity

How to Sculpt a Girl

Start with a glass smile

Because girls, like all people

Love to smile, and

Because eventually she’ll

Learn to make a mirror

Out of her mouth

So she can reflect

What others wish to see

Next weave her some hair

Any color, it doesn’t matter

She will end up dying it

Anyway Red when she needs

An escape, Blue when she’s in love

And Black when she wants to

Slip into the background

Of a life she never dreamed of

You’ll need to pluck

Two peach pits for eyes

Use over ripe ones

So the sweetness runs

In rivers when she cries

Paint on pupils that

Will be trained to look into

The pupils of a lover

With hope as green

As the buds of spring

Pushing up toward the sun

Shape her hips with

The picture of rolling hills

As reference, give her

The body of a hurricane

To house the heart of a

Gentle breeze beneath a

Dove’s wing, give her

Cheekbones higher than

Everest, legs as long as

The open road reaching for

The edge of the world,

And eyelashes as dainty as

A ballerina’s bones

Dust her skin with

Snowflakes and ice

So she will be a beautiful

Wall between the things

She says, the things she does,

And the things that never

Escape her mind

Let her spine curve slightly

So slightly that no one sees

She naturally gazes

Down at the floor

Wishing it would sink

Down into the earth

And carry her with it

Wrap your girl in

Cellophane tightly

So she is transparent

And waxen, this is not

So you will through her

She is ashen to give

Her the first canvas

To caress with color

To touch other

Faces with her brush

Once she’s perfected her art

Build your girl as placid

As you choose but know

She will turn around

And carve wings out

Of you, she will use

Her frail hands to

Dig out the strength

You kept from her,

She will leave you

You may have branded yourself

On her but she will soar away

Without a second thought

Because you assembled her shell

But she crafted her spirit

She made herself out of the

Hollow crucible you left her

Sculpt your girl to your desire

Just know you’ve set free a force

That no one can restrain

Here’s something a bit different. Just so you all know, I do have 3 drafts of new poems in the works, I just haven’t been able to get the words out. Just this poem took a couple of weeks. I’m glad to get something new out for you guys. I hope you enjoy it! I can definitely see myself performing this one, if only I had a place to share poetry haha. Until next time,

-AcuteAnimosity

Sorry!

I realized that I left you guys with a pretty raw and sad poem. Jeez, I think it’s been months since I’ve posted. Okay, so I have two really amazing poem ideas that I just can’t seem to figure out where I want to go with. So, there’s no poem with this, but I will update you guys.

I graduated high school

Okay, again, I graduated high school.

I’ve been blogging since I was in middle school, and now I am a graduate blogger. It’s surreal (for lack of ability to explain). I’m going to college in August. It’s insane. I’ve wanted to go to college since I was in kindergarten. No joke either, I have actually been working hard in school for the sole purpose of going to college since kindergarten. I remember my mom sitting me down one day when I was in kindergarten and saying “Listen, if you want to be a teacher you have to go to college. You aren’t going to get into college without good grades so you better start working hard. I know you’re more than smart enough to do it, but you have to actually try.” Every since I’ve been  Pushing myself harder and harder to have perfect grades. I graduated with National Honor Society and as a part of National Society for High School Scholars. Not only that, but guys this is important so listen up, I gave a speech at my graduation.

You heard me right, I gave a commencement speech. 400 students in my class and only 3 were able to give speeches. The Class president gives one, and two are up for grabs. Out of all the people who submitted speeches, and we are talking about class treasurer, the top ranked kid in out class, extremely popular and sporty kids, and kids who actually text our principal, I was chosen. At first a lot of people were livid. I’m just some nobody. This year though, I became somebody. I didn’t even see it happening. This year I was chosen for not one but two prestigious choirs in my area, I was in a traveling musical to teach kids about bullying, I got a lead role in our school musical, I was the editor-in-chief of our school blog, I sung the national anthem at homecoming, and I gave a speech at my graduation. A lot of people felt I didn’t deserve to give that speech. They thought they could’ve given a better one or that someone more popular should have given it. All that was before I stood center stage in my cap and gown to give my speech.

Once I started to speak, it was like I was holding the hand of every single person in my class. I spoke words that no one could deny. I mentioned every kid individually without even saying a single name. I gave a speech that made people laugh, cry, and think. I made people look past who was speaking and genuinely hear what I was saying. I said what everyone was thinking, but no one was saying. I talked about fear and love, I talked about not knowing what was going to happen and how that is okay. I looked my best friend in the eye and told her how much I loved her, while helping everyone else tell their best friend the same thing. My speech wasn’t about me. It was about every kid in my class individually and collectively. The outcome of my speech was incredible.

People I didn’t even know rushed up to me. My family, my friends, my enemies, and perfect strangers hugged me and wanted to tell me how my speech touched them. The number one ranked kid in my class told me they were so glad that my speech was chosen over theirs because they couldn’t stop crying through my speech. The video of my speech was plastered all over Facebook and people commented about how they wished they had that speech at their graduation and how it was the best speech of the night and how my speech was the only one they could remember from the night.

I’m sure there was some kid in the audience who hated my speech. I even said that during my speech, but the majority reaction that my speech caused was overwhelming. It was everything I wanted to accomplish with that speech. I say it was my speech, but really it was the class of 2016’s speech. It belongs to every graduate this year. I know that in reality, my speech hasn’t gone viral, it hasn’t changed thousands of lives, but it’s stuck in the few hundred minds that have heard it. That’s incredible. I never thought that my speech would even be chosen. After all, who was I? But it turns out that no one could’ve given that speech like I did. The other kid chosen to give a speech was a wildly popular kid. The class president was also wildly popular, but they are the minority. Kids like me are the vast majority in high school. I don’t mean kids who love to write and sing, I mean kids who feel like cellophane stuck to the lockers in the hallway. I gave that speech like it was the last thing I would ever do, and it vibrated in the hearts of my audience. It bounced from person to person, a melody that was sticking in their heads. I did something that no one can take away from me. I’ve never been so proud of my either.

I’m going to college to become a teacher, and I gave a speech at my graduation. I’ve accomplished two dreams, one I’ve had forever, and one I never knew I dreamed of until it had already come true. That’s incredible. If I can do it, so can you, so can anyone. I know this is shamefully cliche, but guys, go for your dreams. You can do anything. Love you guys, till next time,

-AcuteAnimosity

Last Breath

My thumb brushed across

Your wrinkled arm

Back and forth

Over and over again

I gave a light squeeze

Our Father who art

We prayed

We cried and laughed

We caught up

We gathered in close

Hovering above your frail

Body like clouds floating

Above a funeral

We rained tears on your

Time-worn skin

You never once opened your eyes

But your presence filled the air

Until it didn’t anymore

The world fell still as ashes

I kept looking at your chest

I wondered when you would

Take another breath and

Shock us with a perfect return

You fought as long as possible

Everyone deserves the end you met

Peaceful, surrounded by an

Impossible amount of love

So much love

“My best friend”

I’d never seen him cry so

Hard, and that’s what broke me

I have never cried so silently in

All my life

Tears slipped and slide

Down the corners of my face

Collecting in the crevices of

My mouth, sadness is a taste

I will never become accustomed to.

Now you are gone

I felt the heat slowly drip

Out of your quarter-sized wrists

Everyone thinks the color of death

Is an ashen gray, but really

It’s a sad shade of yellow

I couldn’t rip my eyes away

From you, one of the most

Beautiful women in my life

You’re still beautiful

What kills me

Is that I am still breathing

While you no longer

Have that luxury.

Love for you still

Fills my shrinking heart

No matter how the world

Warps me, you will

Always, always live

On in the memories

Of pure beauty that we

Share. You haven’t left

Without leaving your mark

Stitched into this world.

Your hands were always warm

And mine cold.

I watched you take

Your last breath

And I will hold that

Breath until the day

I take mine.

Making up for Neglect

Yes, it’s true, I’ve neglected this blog. I’m not so great on keeping up to date. Anyway! I am going to try to make up for that in this post. Firstly, I used my last post as my college essay! (I revised it of course, that post was barely a rough draft) Also, I am going to try live poeming. For those of you who don’t know what that is (which is all of you because I’ve made it up), that’s when I write a new poem, on the spot, and post it without editing or revising! It’s an awfully scary thing to do since most of my poems aren’t shared with anyone until I’ve done at least a few weeks of revision. So here goes nothing and everything.

But That’s not a Promise

If you’re anything like me

You come up with your comebacks

A second too late

We all would like to

Turn back the clock

Just to get in that last word

To stick up for yourself

To get a laugh out of your friends

But what if you could go back

Only once? Where

Would you go with your

One come back fix?

I know exactly where I would go

I would waltz back to

That wrong time I said it

Three, awfully, terribly cliche words

At the end of that folly phrase

I would add my perfect comeback

I love you, but that’s not a promise

But that’s not a promise

I do love you, but my love

Isn’t a promise of a future

Filled with ease

I can’t promise you that

I won’t shrink away from

Your touch one day

Or that I won’t say goodbye for the

Last time, one day

So please don’t interpret my

Words as my vow

To never make mistakes with

This fragile compassion we share

I’m too clumsy to be able to tell you

That I won’t shatter you some day

You’d think after I’ve cracked in the

Past, I would offer you protection

From the same fate, but

I’m only a girl

A girl who is sometimes

Too busy trying to fix

Everyone and thing to

Realize the harm she is

Inflicting on those

Brave enough to love her back

I would go back in a

Moments notice if I could only

Make it clear that,

Promises were never my intention

I never meant to give you

The belief that I’d stay in

Love forever. I’m too flighty

For a love that lasts a lifetime

I’m sorry that I can’t go back

To tell you everything

That went unsaid in between the

Spaces of I Love You

I never intended to have to

Write this poem

But it was necessary

Because I thought of

That comeback just a

Second too late for

It to matter

You had already accepted

My imaginary promise

Next time I will try to remember

That small disclaimer

But that’s not a promise.

 

 

Okay so my closing of this post is going to be rather short (because I don’t want to be tempted to go revise), but sorry it’s so depressing guys! It was meant to be a bit comical, but I think I veered off that track after just a few lines! Anyway, hope you enjoy. Oh yeah, and Happy (almost) New Year too.

-AcuteAnimosity

 

Poetry

Okay guys, it’s time to introduce you all to something that is extremely important to me…. Poetry. Poetry has helped me through a lot in my life, and it’s always there for me. You all know that writing is incredibly important to me, but specifically poetry is what has helped me the most. Anyway, I have family issues. That’s my thing. The thing that has defined me a lot in my life, and so this poem that I’m about to share is kind of saying how there is no perfect family, even if a family seems perfect, that just doesn’t exist. I am not sure if I am going to call it “Flowers” or “Family Portrait” yet. Maybe you guys can help me decide. Lastly, I pour my heart and soul into my work so please don’t take this poem as your own. It is something that I have spent hours working on, and it’s just wrong to steal poetry and pretend it’s your own. Okay, here goes nothing and everything.

Roses are red

Violets are violent

Daffodils hurt

Daisies are for when she cries

Dry your eyes

He loves you

Honeysuckle dew

Every morning

60 milligrams of the good stuff

She fell down the stairs

On her way to buy flowers

For her daughter whose

Cat scratched her bad last night

They really need to

Clip his claws

Her son would do it

If he weren’t busy

Being a man and

Learning from his father

who learned from his that

Dark purple belongs

Under her shirt so

She doesn’t shame the family

The same family that she

Provides with strapping,

Young men to follow

In the footsteps of their father

And daughters to give away

To real men who will

Keep them in line and

Buy them flowers

So that the house will always

Look and smell nice

Don’t forget to ice

That wound sweetie

You can’t go around

With it swollen up like that

Have a good day

Stay away from the neighbors

They wouldn’t understand

That he loves her and

She loves him

Can’t you see it?

What a good husband

He always come home

With flowers

-AcuteAnimosity

Hello!

Okay, so I will confess something. This isn’t my first blog. I wrote on my first WordPress blog for five years. It was supposed to be anonymous, and I told people about it for whatever reason. Now I feel a tad uncomfortable writing my feelings there. So, because I’ve had a blog I know that when I talk to “you” I’m really talking to myself. An anonymous blog doesn’t usually gain many followers. Anyway, moving on. I’m a girl who feels acutely animistic about this whole life thing. So here’s where I will express my hostility toward the world and all its inhabitants. Today, let me talk about stupid girl stuff today. I don’t always complain about idiotic girl issues, but when I do they are cliche.

So I have this boyfriend. He’s pretty much perfect. The only problem is that I’m the worst girlfriend ever. My boyfriend, let’s call him Lewis, hates to dance. However, I love to dance. So I went to a Salsa Social that my friend invited me to. Lewis was okay with this because he trusts me. At this Salsa Social I danced with a ton of guys. Nothing romantic or anything, just some nice, fun dancing. So for one of the last dances I danced with this friend that brought me to the dance thing, let’s call him Philip. Well Philip is a really good ballroom dancer and I’ve been dancing for eleven years, so him and I were dancing really great together. However, it was a really romantic song. Pause here, you probably think I as unfaithful right? Wrong. We danced, and some how we got talking about our troubled pasts. He held me really close, and he told me that he despises how badly my past has affected me; he told me that I was a great person that didn’t deserve the things that have happened to me. We danced closely, and we danced amazingly. There were spins and shines and a ton of fancy things that made us look pretty cool. At the very end we were in a dance position called “close embrace” so my head was on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of my head. He doesn’t think that I noticed, but I did, and that small gesture meant something to me. I don’t know what it meant to me, however it meant something. Of course at the end of the dance we both awkwardly blushed and found new dance partners for the last dance (I danced with this really cute guy that didn’t really know what he was doing and it was adorable). Okay I know what you’re thinking, I’m a terrible person. I’m not though, I swear. When I call a guy cute, he’s an attractive person in my opinion, that doesn’t mean that I want to jump into his bed and leave my boyfriend. I just think he’s nice looking. A dance is just a dance, but that dance felt special. I don’t know how to describe it, therefore I’m sorry. There wasn’t much a point to this little anecdote. It was just a little intro to my life. Welcome.

-acuteanimosity