Sorry!

I realized that I left you guys with a pretty raw and sad poem. Jeez, I think it’s been months since I’ve posted. Okay, so I have two really amazing poem ideas that I just can’t seem to figure out where I want to go with. So, there’s no poem with this, but I will update you guys.

I graduated high school

Okay, again, I graduated high school.

I’ve been blogging since I was in middle school, and now I am a graduate blogger. It’s surreal (for lack of ability to explain). I’m going to college in August. It’s insane. I’ve wanted to go to college since I was in kindergarten. No joke either, I have actually been working hard in school for the sole purpose of going to college since kindergarten. I remember my mom sitting me down one day when I was in kindergarten and saying “Listen, if you want to be a teacher you have to go to college. You aren’t going to get into college without good grades so you better start working hard. I know you’re more than smart enough to do it, but you have to actually try.” Every since I’ve been  Pushing myself harder and harder to have perfect grades. I graduated with National Honor Society and as a part of National Society for High School Scholars. Not only that, but guys this is important so listen up, I gave a speech at my graduation.

You heard me right, I gave a commencement speech. 400 students in my class and only 3 were able to give speeches. The Class president gives one, and two are up for grabs. Out of all the people who submitted speeches, and we are talking about class treasurer, the top ranked kid in out class, extremely popular and sporty kids, and kids who actually text our principal, I was chosen. At first a lot of people were livid. I’m just some nobody. This year though, I became somebody. I didn’t even see it happening. This year I was chosen for not one but two prestigious choirs in my area, I was in a traveling musical to teach kids about bullying, I got a lead role in our school musical, I was the editor-in-chief of our school blog, I sung the national anthem at homecoming, and I gave a speech at my graduation. A lot of people felt I didn’t deserve to give that speech. They thought they could’ve given a better one or that someone more popular should have given it. All that was before I stood center stage in my cap and gown to give my speech.

Once I started to speak, it was like I was holding the hand of every single person in my class. I spoke words that no one could deny. I mentioned every kid individually without even saying a single name. I gave a speech that made people laugh, cry, and think. I made people look past who was speaking and genuinely hear what I was saying. I said what everyone was thinking, but no one was saying. I talked about fear and love, I talked about not knowing what was going to happen and how that is okay. I looked my best friend in the eye and told her how much I loved her, while helping everyone else tell their best friend the same thing. My speech wasn’t about me. It was about every kid in my class individually and collectively. The outcome of my speech was incredible.

People I didn’t even know rushed up to me. My family, my friends, my enemies, and perfect strangers hugged me and wanted to tell me how my speech touched them. The number one ranked kid in my class told me they were so glad that my speech was chosen over theirs because they couldn’t stop crying through my speech. The video of my speech was plastered all over Facebook and people commented about how they wished they had that speech at their graduation and how it was the best speech of the night and how my speech was the only one they could remember from the night.

I’m sure there was some kid in the audience who hated my speech. I even said that during my speech, but the majority reaction that my speech caused was overwhelming. It was everything I wanted to accomplish with that speech. I say it was my speech, but really it was the class of 2016’s speech. It belongs to every graduate this year. I know that in reality, my speech hasn’t gone viral, it hasn’t changed thousands of lives, but it’s stuck in the few hundred minds that have heard it. That’s incredible. I never thought that my speech would even be chosen. After all, who was I? But it turns out that no one could’ve given that speech like I did. The other kid chosen to give a speech was a wildly popular kid. The class president was also wildly popular, but they are the minority. Kids like me are the vast majority in high school. I don’t mean kids who love to write and sing, I mean kids who feel like cellophane stuck to the lockers in the hallway. I gave that speech like it was the last thing I would ever do, and it vibrated in the hearts of my audience. It bounced from person to person, a melody that was sticking in their heads. I did something that no one can take away from me. I’ve never been so proud of my either.

I’m going to college to become a teacher, and I gave a speech at my graduation. I’ve accomplished two dreams, one I’ve had forever, and one I never knew I dreamed of until it had already come true. That’s incredible. If I can do it, so can you, so can anyone. I know this is shamefully cliche, but guys, go for your dreams. You can do anything. Love you guys, till next time,

-AcuteAnimosity

Her

You’re still looking for her?

Haven’t you heard?

She’s succumbed too gravity

She’s abandoning the stars for something darker

Don’t bother going after her

She’s a lost cause

A savior who saved everyone but herself

You’re still thinking about finding her?

You’ll find her down under

Still healing those who have given up hope

She’ll be the outcast in hell

The dimming light in the darkness

The one helping the old man on the side of the road

Who will steal her wallet when she’s not looking

She’ll pretend to not notice

Listen kid, you should stick around

Don’t waste your time searching

To get to the top you have to

Step on the heads of those just above you

Push them down to pull yourself up

That’s how you land among the stars

She’s only descending further

How pathetic!!

Willingly walking to the bottom

What a wayward way to act

What a weird waste of a life

If you aren’t looking down from the peak

What is your purpose?

Those who are like me thrive

Those who are like her barely survive

If you’re really still that stubborn

If I really can’t convince you

Can I at least get a boost?

Thanks kid

Good luck getting back to this spot

After you find her

Maybe she’ll already be destroyed

I never understood her

No one does

People demolish things they can’t comprehend

It’s a shame really

Oh well

 

 

 

-AcuteAnimosity

Acupuncture

Acupuncture

Needles prick my squishy skin

They delve deep, weaving their spindles

Into my bone marrow

Softly they sigh as each

Pin settles in my body

It’s a snug fit that leaves no space

For any pathogens to enter

I’m wrapped in my sharp shirt

Arms hugging one another

Hello old friend

My muscles flex against the lustrous

Jacket, it’s just a bit too tight

But it keeps me chilled

I’m waiting on ice to stay fresh

For the guests who are hungry

Not to dissatisfy, I compress myself further

I am a marble

Transparent and blue inside

 My form-fitting acupuncture outfit

Makes me quite the

centerpiece for the party

Blind only to myself

The needles in my lens’ are

Unforgiving, but I’ve seen sight before

I’d rather be unseeing

Then I can plead ignorance on the stand

The bleached granite pedestal

I am placed up carefully

So as not to move the syringes

Aesthetically positioned in my complexion

The needles are plucked out one by one

Or peeled out all at once

So that the effects either fade

Or vanish, acupuncture

Why do I keep turning to you?

You’ve only ever left me gaping

And leaking, losing I’m losing

Lost, I’ve lost, past

Present, the tense makes no difference

Acupuncture, you fill me for a second

You reassure me of my doubts

And you give me new ones to

Overthink about, then you

Take your therapy and move on

To the next patient, who doesn’t need

Your sweet sting

But the rose on your thorn

Is your accidental catalyst

In creation, in creation, in creation

I get it, back, forth, back, forth

Better, bye, no

Wait, kiss me goodnight?

OKAY, so I put this at the end because I wanted you all to read this without knowing what it was about. I wanted you to be able to relate to this poem in your own way. I never once say what it is about in the poem, I tried to be very vague, so that you could have every opportunity to see what these words make you think of. However, I will tell you. I wrote this during an anxiety attack, and it’s a description of what my anxiety attacks feel like. I don’t want to say much more, because I don’t want you to lose your meaning of this poem, and because poetry is just a code, decipher it if you really want to know everything. Anyway! This was super hard to write, and I am still calming down from my anxiety attack, so I am going to leave. However, I would love to hear how you interpreted this poem so leave me a comment on your interpretation and thoughts!

-AcuteAnimosity

Winging It!

Okay, so I decided that it was time for a new update, but I haven’t planned this out at all whatsoever. I’m winging it! Let’s see, mostly my life is MineCraft right now. I know, how cool am I? Well, there’s a server I love, and I am on it almost everyday because it is just so fun! When there isn’t drama that is. There’s plenty of that because it’s a bunch of random internet people, so that happens. Wow, this update sucks huh? I should stick to just posting poetry! However, I am not feeling very creative right now, so no live poeming this time, sorry. Ugh! Why is this so hard right now? I have a boring life, that’s why. Okay, I will leave for now, but I will return with a plan next time okay? Bye for now!

-AcuteAnimosity

Excitement!

Okay! I’m excited! So very excited! I have learned a few new tricks here on wordpress and I am very impressed with myself. I have a new little catch phrase “Because there’s a little hostility in us all!” I have new fonts, I have some new fancy features on a new sidebar (Milestone counter, follow button, follow by email, and a calendar), however I am most excited for my header picture! I have never ever in all my years of blogging been able to figure out pictures. So I never had any on my blog. Now that I have figures it out I went a bit crazy. I have more than one header picture. I have six! They are randomized so you never know which will appear at the top! I am ecstatic about this as you can clearly see! Also, I have a deal for all you out there reading this blog, if I get a decent amount of followers, comments, and likes on my blog I will buy the full, premium version of wordpress so that I can do even more awesome things for you guys. So follow, like, and comment if you want to see this teeny, tiny blog take flight (I had to stick a cliche in there). I do so hope you all force me to buy wordpress! Make me spend money on you guys! And with that, I’m out of here 😉

-AcuteAnimosity

Poetry

Okay guys, it’s time to introduce you all to something that is extremely important to me…. Poetry. Poetry has helped me through a lot in my life, and it’s always there for me. You all know that writing is incredibly important to me, but specifically poetry is what has helped me the most. Anyway, I have family issues. That’s my thing. The thing that has defined me a lot in my life, and so this poem that I’m about to share is kind of saying how there is no perfect family, even if a family seems perfect, that just doesn’t exist. I am not sure if I am going to call it “Flowers” or “Family Portrait” yet. Maybe you guys can help me decide. Lastly, I pour my heart and soul into my work so please don’t take this poem as your own. It is something that I have spent hours working on, and it’s just wrong to steal poetry and pretend it’s your own. Okay, here goes nothing and everything.

Roses are red

Violets are violent

Daffodils hurt

Daisies are for when she cries

Dry your eyes

He loves you

Honeysuckle dew

Every morning

60 milligrams of the good stuff

She fell down the stairs

On her way to buy flowers

For her daughter whose

Cat scratched her bad last night

They really need to

Clip his claws

Her son would do it

If he weren’t busy

Being a man and

Learning from his father

who learned from his that

Dark purple belongs

Under her shirt so

She doesn’t shame the family

The same family that she

Provides with strapping,

Young men to follow

In the footsteps of their father

And daughters to give away

To real men who will

Keep them in line and

Buy them flowers

So that the house will always

Look and smell nice

Don’t forget to ice

That wound sweetie

You can’t go around

With it swollen up like that

Have a good day

Stay away from the neighbors

They wouldn’t understand

That he loves her and

She loves him

Can’t you see it?

What a good husband

He always come home

With flowers

-AcuteAnimosity

Common Misconceptions About Introvets

I am an introvert, more specifically an INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging). It’s actually the rarest type, don’t I feel special. Anyway, today’s rant is about the misconceptions people have about introverts. The most common response I get when people find out that I’m an introvert is “what’s that?” To explain what an introvert is I have to explain its counterpart, the extrovert. People who are extroverts tend to be loud, generally cheerful, always in a group. Extroverts love to be with people. In fact, they feel anxious and unsettled when they are alone. This doesn’t mean that they can’t ever be alone, it just means that they mostly try to avoid solitude, but everyone needs alone time now and then. Now, introverts are different because instead of feeling yucky when they’re alone, they feel drained when they are around people too much. Introverts need recharge time. They need more solitude than extroverts. This doesn’t mean that introverts are loners who hate people. It just means that they need more down time. The second most popular comment I get is “But you aren’t shy.” Introverts aren’t all shy! It is more typical that a shyer person is an introvert, however an extrovert can be shy and an introvert can be outgoing! That being said, another misconception is that you have to be extroverted to be successful. No! Introverts can still be successful and have a lot of friends. You do not have to be extroverted in order to be well-liked or successful. One thing that makes people think that introverts are not successful in business or politics is that introverts have no taste for small talk. Unless you are talking to an introverted meteorologist, don’t comment on the weather. Introverts won’t be very chatty, unless you talk to them about something that really matters to them. Talk to an introvert about their passion, and you won’t be able to shut them up. Lastly, not all introverts are small, quiet kids who sit in the dark corner of the art room drawing and writing poetry. Believe it or not, some introverts don’t like art or English. Some like sports and want to be engineers! Basically the moral of this rant is, don’t judge someone based on whether they are an extrovert, introvert, or even ambivert (combination of the two). Everyone is different. Okay lovelies, it’s time for me to go to sleep. If you really would want to know more about this whole personality typing please comment saying that you want to talk more about it. I’ve researched these things pretty thoroughly because I think it is so cool. Alright, night!

-acuteanimosity

Reasons for Things

My last blog had an incredible background. It was all galaxy themed, and it was just so cool looking. However, it didn’t mean anything to me. Sure it looked great, but it meant absolutely nothing. This theme means something to me. It is boring, blank, white, and just void of any personal touches. It’s completely new. It’s a fresh start. I need one of those. As this blog progresses, you will inevitably learn things about me. You’ll learn the light, superficial things and the dark, deep things. At first glance I look to be about s deep as a kiddie pool. I’m not mean or anything, but I don’t look to be very interesting. However, if you were to jump into the kiddie pool that is my mine, you would sink deeper and deeper. I am an extensive, dizzying abyss. For a sixteen year old, I have been through a lot. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that I have the hardest life ever. In fact, I’m quite lucky. I’m only saying that I am mature for my age. I don’t have too much more to say in this post. I really just wanted to explain why my background is so very boring. Nevertheless, I got very off topic here. That’s okay. Some of my best writing comes from when I have no clue what point I’m even trying to get across. Okay, I’m out for now.

-AcuteAnimosity

Friends

Some times I really hate having friends. I honestly didn’t used to have friends. For three years I didn’t have a single friend. Well I was mute for one of those years, so maybe that year shouldn’t count. Anyway, my friends all pretend to get along because I am the mutual friend that they all share. Now one has made another mad. That open the floodgates for every one to hate one another. All my friends want me to pick sides, and honestly I’m ready to become a recluse….. just kidding, but really it’s  awful having friends fight.

Anyway, I don’t have much else to say about that. I don’t really plan out what I’m going to write so sometimes I crash and burn like I did today. Okay so now that I’ve warned you about my inconsistency, let’s talk about another friend thing. I have this friend, let’s call him Christopher, and he is probably one of my best friends. He’s helped me with a lot in my life, but I’ve never really helped him. He is extremely private. I don’t know as much about him as he knows about me. That bothers me honestly. I am the friend that everyone comes to for advice and help. I never ask for help, but Christopher just makes me spill my guts out onto the floor over and over. He is way to easy to trust. It’s actually pretty scary how much I trust him with. You see I never tell anyone everything. I only ever tell people a little bit about me, never ever the full story. That’s too dangerous (can someone say trust issues?). So, I wish he would open up to me. I hate being the one who is needy. I’m a really independent person, I like to help people, not be helped.

I just realized that here I am telling you about these friends, but you have no way of remembering who is who. Okay, it’s been decided. I’m going to make a second page on my blog devoted to telling you who is who when in my writing. Well this post jumped all over the place, but at least I got one thing done! Alrighty, bye for now.

-acuteanimosity

Hello!

Okay, so I will confess something. This isn’t my first blog. I wrote on my first WordPress blog for five years. It was supposed to be anonymous, and I told people about it for whatever reason. Now I feel a tad uncomfortable writing my feelings there. So, because I’ve had a blog I know that when I talk to “you” I’m really talking to myself. An anonymous blog doesn’t usually gain many followers. Anyway, moving on. I’m a girl who feels acutely animistic about this whole life thing. So here’s where I will express my hostility toward the world and all its inhabitants. Today, let me talk about stupid girl stuff today. I don’t always complain about idiotic girl issues, but when I do they are cliche.

So I have this boyfriend. He’s pretty much perfect. The only problem is that I’m the worst girlfriend ever. My boyfriend, let’s call him Lewis, hates to dance. However, I love to dance. So I went to a Salsa Social that my friend invited me to. Lewis was okay with this because he trusts me. At this Salsa Social I danced with a ton of guys. Nothing romantic or anything, just some nice, fun dancing. So for one of the last dances I danced with this friend that brought me to the dance thing, let’s call him Philip. Well Philip is a really good ballroom dancer and I’ve been dancing for eleven years, so him and I were dancing really great together. However, it was a really romantic song. Pause here, you probably think I as unfaithful right? Wrong. We danced, and some how we got talking about our troubled pasts. He held me really close, and he told me that he despises how badly my past has affected me; he told me that I was a great person that didn’t deserve the things that have happened to me. We danced closely, and we danced amazingly. There were spins and shines and a ton of fancy things that made us look pretty cool. At the very end we were in a dance position called “close embrace” so my head was on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of my head. He doesn’t think that I noticed, but I did, and that small gesture meant something to me. I don’t know what it meant to me, however it meant something. Of course at the end of the dance we both awkwardly blushed and found new dance partners for the last dance (I danced with this really cute guy that didn’t really know what he was doing and it was adorable). Okay I know what you’re thinking, I’m a terrible person. I’m not though, I swear. When I call a guy cute, he’s an attractive person in my opinion, that doesn’t mean that I want to jump into his bed and leave my boyfriend. I just think he’s nice looking. A dance is just a dance, but that dance felt special. I don’t know how to describe it, therefore I’m sorry. There wasn’t much a point to this little anecdote. It was just a little intro to my life. Welcome.

-acuteanimosity