Sorry!

I realized that I left you guys with a pretty raw and sad poem. Jeez, I think it’s been months since I’ve posted. Okay, so I have two really amazing poem ideas that I just can’t seem to figure out where I want to go with. So, there’s no poem with this, but I will update you guys.

I graduated high school

Okay, again, I graduated high school.

I’ve been blogging since I was in middle school, and now I am a graduate blogger. It’s surreal (for lack of ability to explain). I’m going to college in August. It’s insane. I’ve wanted to go to college since I was in kindergarten. No joke either, I have actually been working hard in school for the sole purpose of going to college since kindergarten. I remember my mom sitting me down one day when I was in kindergarten and saying “Listen, if you want to be a teacher you have to go to college. You aren’t going to get into college without good grades so you better start working hard. I know you’re more than smart enough to do it, but you have to actually try.” Every since I’ve been  Pushing myself harder and harder to have perfect grades. I graduated with National Honor Society and as a part of National Society for High School Scholars. Not only that, but guys this is important so listen up, I gave a speech at my graduation.

You heard me right, I gave a commencement speech. 400 students in my class and only 3 were able to give speeches. The Class president gives one, and two are up for grabs. Out of all the people who submitted speeches, and we are talking about class treasurer, the top ranked kid in out class, extremely popular and sporty kids, and kids who actually text our principal, I was chosen. At first a lot of people were livid. I’m just some nobody. This year though, I became somebody. I didn’t even see it happening. This year I was chosen for not one but two prestigious choirs in my area, I was in a traveling musical to teach kids about bullying, I got a lead role in our school musical, I was the editor-in-chief of our school blog, I sung the national anthem at homecoming, and I gave a speech at my graduation. A lot of people felt I didn’t deserve to give that speech. They thought they could’ve given a better one or that someone more popular should have given it. All that was before I stood center stage in my cap and gown to give my speech.

Once I started to speak, it was like I was holding the hand of every single person in my class. I spoke words that no one could deny. I mentioned every kid individually without even saying a single name. I gave a speech that made people laugh, cry, and think. I made people look past who was speaking and genuinely hear what I was saying. I said what everyone was thinking, but no one was saying. I talked about fear and love, I talked about not knowing what was going to happen and how that is okay. I looked my best friend in the eye and told her how much I loved her, while helping everyone else tell their best friend the same thing. My speech wasn’t about me. It was about every kid in my class individually and collectively. The outcome of my speech was incredible.

People I didn’t even know rushed up to me. My family, my friends, my enemies, and perfect strangers hugged me and wanted to tell me how my speech touched them. The number one ranked kid in my class told me they were so glad that my speech was chosen over theirs because they couldn’t stop crying through my speech. The video of my speech was plastered all over Facebook and people commented about how they wished they had that speech at their graduation and how it was the best speech of the night and how my speech was the only one they could remember from the night.

I’m sure there was some kid in the audience who hated my speech. I even said that during my speech, but the majority reaction that my speech caused was overwhelming. It was everything I wanted to accomplish with that speech. I say it was my speech, but really it was the class of 2016’s speech. It belongs to every graduate this year. I know that in reality, my speech hasn’t gone viral, it hasn’t changed thousands of lives, but it’s stuck in the few hundred minds that have heard it. That’s incredible. I never thought that my speech would even be chosen. After all, who was I? But it turns out that no one could’ve given that speech like I did. The other kid chosen to give a speech was a wildly popular kid. The class president was also wildly popular, but they are the minority. Kids like me are the vast majority in high school. I don’t mean kids who love to write and sing, I mean kids who feel like cellophane stuck to the lockers in the hallway. I gave that speech like it was the last thing I would ever do, and it vibrated in the hearts of my audience. It bounced from person to person, a melody that was sticking in their heads. I did something that no one can take away from me. I’ve never been so proud of my either.

I’m going to college to become a teacher, and I gave a speech at my graduation. I’ve accomplished two dreams, one I’ve had forever, and one I never knew I dreamed of until it had already come true. That’s incredible. If I can do it, so can you, so can anyone. I know this is shamefully cliche, but guys, go for your dreams. You can do anything. Love you guys, till next time,

-AcuteAnimosity

Winging It!

Okay, so I decided that it was time for a new update, but I haven’t planned this out at all whatsoever. I’m winging it! Let’s see, mostly my life is MineCraft right now. I know, how cool am I? Well, there’s a server I love, and I am on it almost everyday because it is just so fun! When there isn’t drama that is. There’s plenty of that because it’s a bunch of random internet people, so that happens. Wow, this update sucks huh? I should stick to just posting poetry! However, I am not feeling very creative right now, so no live poeming this time, sorry. Ugh! Why is this so hard right now? I have a boring life, that’s why. Okay, I will leave for now, but I will return with a plan next time okay? Bye for now!

-AcuteAnimosity

Penmanship

“You have messy hand-writing” -said my parents, my teachers, and basically everyone. 

Yes, I know that my penmanship isn’t aesthetically pleasing to you. I know that it can be a bit hard to read, but you still try to. Perhaps I have bad hand-writing, I won’t try and deny that it isn’t typewriter perfect. Take one look at my writing and you will know that I smush my letters together so they are all connected in a weird half-print half-cursive mix. You will know that all the words slant slightly to the right. You will also know that I tend to have a problem starting from the exact left side of the page. As I write I start each line closer and closer to the center until I am no longer writing a psychology paper, it’s a poem. So yeah, I have loopy, legato penmanship. I tend to need more sheets of loose leaf than the average person because I write big and fast and I cross out a lot due to my words becoming more and more illegible. All these things are the truth, you’re truth. My truth? My truth is that I turn economics vocabulary into my own rendition of Starry Night. I swirl the the 26 characters together to form a code that, like it or not, your brain registers as words. I force you to transform guttural pictures into words that you hear me whisper in your mind as your eyes fly back and forth across that college ruled canvas. I sing into your brain silently through the use of a pen and paper. My penmanship isn’t ugly, it’s loud. It screams READ ME. The more connected and tilted my writing gets, the richer my ideas become. I’ve never been coordinated physically so it’s hard for my hand to keep up with my athletic brain. While you may not want to bother reading the words I’ve scribbled haphazardly to keep them from bursting out of my skull on their own will, you should. The messiest of my writing is the meat and potatoes that are harvested from my soul. So dear parents, teachers, and everyone else I dare you to squint your eyes tighter, go on and decipher my english research paper, you won’t regret it. And maybe, you’ll come to appreciate the kids with “bad” penmanship just a little bit more.

 

Update

Okay, so you can officially say the S word now that I’m back to school.  So here’s my quick update. School sucks. Okay so there’s your update. So here’s a poem that I wrote in Pre Calculus because I’m dropping that class.

The Boy with Square Eyes

He saw the world

Less like a sphere

And more like how it truly is

A cube, sharp edges, smooth and

Modern appearance, hard and

Cold, a box

His square eyes sorted

The world he let no circles

Pass into his soul, no triangles

Seeped in, even trapezoids were

Too deformed, squares were his

Business, and oh how he was

Good at business, I stood in his line

Of vision, begging him let my

Rhombus inside it’s nearly a

Square, it’s just skewed by the perception

Of the world, but his vision was

Perfect as was his mission

Only cubes, cubes alone are perfect

That’s all that goes through

He took only square refugees

No exceptions, the pretty and ideal

Ones who didn’t fuss

He didn’t save the others

There’s nothing worth saving there

He’d say, you’re wasting time

Yours and mine, get out of

My view, you taint my sight

His pretty portrait, he

Painted each day, but

He had no color to

Describe me, the cubed

Earth, perfection

We don’t fit in your perfection

Cut your angles then try again

Later, later they keep saying

Everyone will be acceoted later

When the squares are safe

But it will always be later

And never now.

-AcuteAnimosity

Silence

Okay guys, poem time again! As always I want to hear from you all, tell me what you think even if you hate it. The job of a writer is to make the reader think, so even if you think “wow, I hate this” then I’ve accomplished my goal of making you think and feel something! So this poem I’ve been thinking of calling Silence, hence the title of this post. However, if you have any title suggestions I am always willing to consider changing titles (I’m the worst at titles). Okay, here goes nothing and everything.

Silence

Your words don’t worry me

What keeps me up at night

Is the silence between each phrase

That tumbles out of your waterfall mouth

And cascades into my waiting ears

Your screams urge me to respond

I answer you with my heart

Hanging off my sleeve

With my soul peering out of my sea foam eyes

And moths pervading my insides

I’ve never ignored you

But I could never communicate

The way you can

The sounds I’d make couldn’t compare

To the symphonies that you speak

That’s why the silence you make petrifies me

I’ve never heard music more awing

Than your sweet song

Never stop singing

My world would fall

Too quiet to bear

I would tell all this to you

If only I could find my voice

If only we could make harmony

That people would walk miles to hear

I wish I could give all that to you

Instead I offer a hand

Take a bow

You’ve left me speechless and while

There’s no way I could

Stand with you

In the burning light

I will always stand

Beneath you in the still dark

If nothing else

You will always have

A standing ovation of one

-AcuteAnimosity

Excitement!

Okay! I’m excited! So very excited! I have learned a few new tricks here on wordpress and I am very impressed with myself. I have a new little catch phrase “Because there’s a little hostility in us all!” I have new fonts, I have some new fancy features on a new sidebar (Milestone counter, follow button, follow by email, and a calendar), however I am most excited for my header picture! I have never ever in all my years of blogging been able to figure out pictures. So I never had any on my blog. Now that I have figures it out I went a bit crazy. I have more than one header picture. I have six! They are randomized so you never know which will appear at the top! I am ecstatic about this as you can clearly see! Also, I have a deal for all you out there reading this blog, if I get a decent amount of followers, comments, and likes on my blog I will buy the full, premium version of wordpress so that I can do even more awesome things for you guys. So follow, like, and comment if you want to see this teeny, tiny blog take flight (I had to stick a cliche in there). I do so hope you all force me to buy wordpress! Make me spend money on you guys! And with that, I’m out of here 😉

-AcuteAnimosity

Don’t Say the S Word

That’s right, it’s almost school time. SHOOT I SAID THE S WORD. Needless to say I am not entirely ecstatic to go back to you know where. I am excited to learn new things, see my friends everyday, and to have a place to go to everyday rather than just being lazy, however I am not excited for a few things. For instance, the people that I hate and who hate me. Well hate is a strong word, I only hate three people. Nevertheless, there are quite a few people who I dislike and who hate me. Those people I don’t have to see all summer, so it’s great, I don’t even have to worry about them. When I’m at that place though? I have to worry about them everyday. Especially if I have classes with any of them. I am also a library intern, so a lot of people who hate me happen to go to the library, but I love the library, it’s my niche in that place (well the library and the chorus room) so I’d never let those jerks scare me out of the library. Lastly, I’m a senior next year. It’s my last year of high school. I have yet to write a college essay, get any recommendations, or pick a favorite college. Yeah, I have a few colleges that I like, but no one that is just completely perfect and is my top college. However, I don’t want to talk about college today. I am here to talk about the S word. Mainly those people that I don’t like. There’s Marissa, a girl who I was once best friends with, George, who once started a petition to kick me out of band class because he didn’t want to see me anymore, and Mark, a kid who used to harass me. There are others who are jerks to me, but I am choosing to talk about these three because they are all very different from one another, which allows me to talk about three diferent kinds of bullies. First off, Marrisa, this  bully I like to call the “Ex-Friend Bully” for obvious reasons. We met in sixth grade, and became friends when I started dating one of her friends. I know I know, sixth grade relationships are dumb and stuff, but this is just what happened. I dated her  friend John, and he introduced me to Marissa. When John asked for nudes and I said no, he dumped me (honestly good riddance). However, I stayed friends with Marissa because I really had no other friends. I was an outcast. Marissa became abusive. She would actually hit me. So I stopped being her friend, that’s when I found out that she had been dating John since before John broke up with me. Only, I was stupid enough to become friends with her again once she broke up with John. Of course we had another falling out, then I became friends with her again. This cycle happened every year until ninth grade when I finally told her I was done. I never spoke to her again. I avoid her, but I’m never mean to her. I never snoop to her level of telling lies, spreading rumors, and playing the victim. She continues to spin stories about how I was so mean to her, while I just pretend she doesn’t exist. That is my advice for you all about this type of bully. You need to delete their phone number, stop talking to them,, and stop thinking about them. You’re better off without them, and no matter what do not stoop to their level. Secondly, George, George is what I like to call the “Popular Bully.” He’s the kid who bullies other kids to make popular kids laugh and to be a popular kid. We both played percussion in the band from 5th to 8th grade. Every day he would find some way to make fun of me. He would mock my twitch (back then I had a twitch), he would throw drum sticks at me, he would make dumb jokes about me, and of course there was the petition he made in sixth grade (by the way he never once was punished for any of the things he did to me or anyone else despite the fact he’s been bullying kids since 5th grade and I used to tell teachers all the time, and people say the school system isn’t corrupt). This bully is the one that you also have to just get out of your life. Unfortunately I quit band after 8th grade in order to get him out of my life. I hated having to do that because I loved band, but no one would help me, so I quit band and avoided him like the plague. He is a person who is in the library a lot, and he always tries to make fun of me or do something stupid to me. I check out his book and ignore everything he says. Eventually he goes away. It’s sad but this is the only way to deal with him because teachers love him, and he has a ton of friends backing him up. It’s awful, but at least it gets him to go away. So for this bully, ignore them, walk away, and try to avoid them if you can. However, don’t quit band to avoid them like I did, you shouldn’t have to give up something you love just because of a stupid jerk. There were actually six percussionists in my middle school, and all five other percussionists bullied me everyday. I quit not just because George, but because of all of them. Lastly, Mark, who I like to all the “Sexual Bully.” It’s a bit of a blunt name, but it fits well. He would stare at my butt, look down my shirt, comment on my modest clothes saying that I was a prude and should show some skin. This lasted half a year in tenth grade until right before Christmas break he made the mistake of trying to grab my ass. Well Lewis (who I was still dating at the time) Smacked his hand away. That’s when Mark pushed Lewis, Lewis then punched Mark and well a fight. It lasted about a minute before a gym coach broke it up. Both boys were brought to the principal’s office, and Lewis told the principal what had been happening and what Mark was about to do before the fight, but the principal never brought me in to hear what I had to say and he suspended both boys for 5 days. He didn’t give a crap about the harassment that had been going on for months or about how Lewis was protecting me. Sad. After that I told the teacher of the class I had with Mark and Lewis what had been happening and she moved me across the room from Mark and right next to Lewis. Three months later Mark was expelled for fighting again. So for this bully, tell a teacher. Yes the principal didn’t listen to Lewis, but that’s probably because I never said anything, and after fighting, Lewis didn’t seem to be a credible source of information. Still, they should have investigated. Anyway, it is best to tell a trusted teacher that this is going on rather than trying to tough it out like I did. Okay, this is a long long post, but it was needed. I want all of you to know that I truly want to help others even if it means I have to talk about things that are hard for me to talk about. Okay, so just incase I ever need to talk about these bullies again, they will be on my Friend List page, even though they are not friends! As always, leave a comment if there’s anything you want advice or help with or even if you just want someone to talk to, I’ll talk to you 🙂 Alrighty, this is all for this post. I will try to post at least once more before the S Word starts. Love you all!

-AcuteAnimosity

Common Misconceptions About Introvets

I am an introvert, more specifically an INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging). It’s actually the rarest type, don’t I feel special. Anyway, today’s rant is about the misconceptions people have about introverts. The most common response I get when people find out that I’m an introvert is “what’s that?” To explain what an introvert is I have to explain its counterpart, the extrovert. People who are extroverts tend to be loud, generally cheerful, always in a group. Extroverts love to be with people. In fact, they feel anxious and unsettled when they are alone. This doesn’t mean that they can’t ever be alone, it just means that they mostly try to avoid solitude, but everyone needs alone time now and then. Now, introverts are different because instead of feeling yucky when they’re alone, they feel drained when they are around people too much. Introverts need recharge time. They need more solitude than extroverts. This doesn’t mean that introverts are loners who hate people. It just means that they need more down time. The second most popular comment I get is “But you aren’t shy.” Introverts aren’t all shy! It is more typical that a shyer person is an introvert, however an extrovert can be shy and an introvert can be outgoing! That being said, another misconception is that you have to be extroverted to be successful. No! Introverts can still be successful and have a lot of friends. You do not have to be extroverted in order to be well-liked or successful. One thing that makes people think that introverts are not successful in business or politics is that introverts have no taste for small talk. Unless you are talking to an introverted meteorologist, don’t comment on the weather. Introverts won’t be very chatty, unless you talk to them about something that really matters to them. Talk to an introvert about their passion, and you won’t be able to shut them up. Lastly, not all introverts are small, quiet kids who sit in the dark corner of the art room drawing and writing poetry. Believe it or not, some introverts don’t like art or English. Some like sports and want to be engineers! Basically the moral of this rant is, don’t judge someone based on whether they are an extrovert, introvert, or even ambivert (combination of the two). Everyone is different. Okay lovelies, it’s time for me to go to sleep. If you really would want to know more about this whole personality typing please comment saying that you want to talk more about it. I’ve researched these things pretty thoroughly because I think it is so cool. Alright, night!

-acuteanimosity