Stereotype

Here I am in Starbucks again. I’m really becoming the stereotypical college girl lately. Well, the show I was in has come and gone. My life is a little more back to normal, but I have the post-show blues. I miss the crazy rehearsals till 3am and being so close to people that you want to marry and kill them. There’s a whole in my life where that show should be. Nevertheless, there will be another show fall semester! So for now I need to relax (for a little while, I have finals soon). The biggest thing I need to update you guys on is well, there’s a boy.

Last time there was a boy I didn’t tell you guys, but this time I just am going to because why the heck not? I tried not talking about it last time, and that was disastrous. So raise your hand if you’ve ever heard of Yik Yak (haha did you really raise your hand?). I love Yik Yak. I think it’s so fun to talk to people you don’t really know, and anonymously post things (do you see the theme here? I just love anonymity haha). Yeah you have to watch out for  the sex posts, but it’s a good time on Yik Yak besides that. Well on the Yik Yak my college has, I’ve become the person who will comment on the sad posts. I will talk to sad people, and help them feel better and let them know they aren’t alone. Valentine’s Day was a mess on Yik Yak, there were so many sad people. I replied to one post about this guy just wanting someone to talk to, and we ended up talking all night. We found out that he’s a part of the hockey pep band, and I always sit with the hockey pep band because I have friends in it. So the next game we met one another. Fast forward a few awkward hockey games, and he asked me to get coffee with him one day. Fast forward several weeks of getting lots and lots of caffeine and finally we are at last weekend. He came to see the show I was in. We hugged for the first time. It felt really good. Then the last night of the show he came again and brought me flowers. Then he said something along the lines of “It’s been great getting coffee with you all the time, but um” and that but um made me want to cry. Me being me immediately thought that he wanted nothing to do with me. I was too weird and he was sick of me. This, of course, was ridiculous. The boy bought me a freaking bouquet of roses and went to two nights of my show. However, that’s just me, I am oblivious until you spell it out for me, which he did. He said “But um, I’d like to actually take you out on a date.” Being the idiot I am I said that I didn’t know first because I was blushing so hard and couldn’t form words, but then I said sure, which again is lame and I wish I at least said yes I’d love to or something else cool, calm, and collected.  Nevertheless, I said yes. I’m going on a date, which is crazy because even though i’ve had many a boyfriend, none of them have actually asked me out on a date. Usually they just ask me to be their girlfriend and that’s that.

I am crazy nervous. I hate eating in front of people I’m not comfortable around yet. I also hate hate hate eating out because I’m vegetarian, and it can be embarrassing to not be able to find anything on the menu to eat. I am hoping I can persuade him to go bowling. I suck at bowling, but at least that way I won’t get over or under dressed, and I won’t have to worry about eating. I would say we should go to the movies, but then you don’t get to talk. I’m not sure that I would want to be in a relationship right now, so I want to really talk to him a lot. That way I can make my mind up should he ever ask (or if I want to ask) for us to be a couple. I have the worst luck in relationships. I always end up dating people who are bad matches for me. Then I convince myself I’m in love with them and we stay together waaaayyyy longer than we should. So I am trying to take this slower than slow. I don’t want to be hurt or to hurt again. I know pain is sometimes unavoidable, but I don’t want to hurt him or for him to hurt me. I am trying my best I guess is all I can say.

Anyway, this isn’t a story or a poem, sorry. I am trying, but it’s been crazy crazy lately. I have so many ideas saved in my drafts, I just haven’t been able to write lately. I love you guys.

-AcuteAnimosity

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